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    FAMILY REUNION SPECIAL!
Just in time for summer!  Here are
some essential items to acquire
before you travel to the latest get-
together of those people united by
blood, legal decree and other
accidents, a.k.a. "Family." 

Let our psychological baggage handler (pictured above) collect your baggage and that of other members of your family.  He'll try to make sure you'll have what you need, when you need it, but without being weighed down by all the weight of its torturous accumulation over the decades.

However, since his baggage-handling fees are substantial, below you'll find some less expensive items he has suggested. They can be of some help as you gather with Great Uncle Edna and the other assorted characters . . . of which you are, probably, another shining example.  But we won't go there.

Nothing is quite as awkward at a family reunion as not knowing the names of all your 4th cousins 3 times removed and your great-grandfather's third wife's oldest child, who he'll be bouncing on his knee.  And for that, stick-on, "Hello, I'm . . ." name tags are always a good thing.

But we have an even better one:  "Hello, my role is . . . ."
After all, every family has roles such as "Central Switchboard" (or, if they're much younger, "Main Router/Server".)  this is the person everyone confides in and who then passes it along to others . . . but only if others first share a juicy tidbit of their own.  No communications in the family occur unless they go" through" her/him.  Be prepared to duck when they see you wearing your Triangle Busters Tee Shirt.  (See at very bottom of this offer.)

And, of course, there are the family members who're easy to kick, not because of their passivity but due to their habit of getting into trouble.  Their tag may say "Hello, my role is Rebel."  Tongues of self-righteous judgment readily wag at such members.  Though these folks seldom do so, they just as well could write "Scapegoat" or "Victim" on their tag instead.  Don't be fooled.  It's the same role:  to help the family handle its anxiety and fear by having someone to identify as "It."  That person is "the cause of all our problems.  If it weren't for him/her, this family would be great."  So kick 'em!  When you greet them, admire their courage, energy, and strong-willed style.  Thank them for doing such a fine service to the family at great cost to themselves.  Then ask 'em if they think it's worth it.

And then there's "Hello, my role is Clown."  As afraid to face their own and the family's pain as are the rest of its members, the Clown diverts everyone's attention away from the pain by getting everyone to laugh . . . but in a way that distracts from the pain/problems, rather than using humor as a way to actually grapple with those issues.  When you meet the Clown, wear your hand buzzer and after you've gotten their giggle in return, separate them from the group, and confide in them some piece of your own pain.  Then wonder if they've ever felt that way too.

Then there's "Hello, my role is the Fixer."  They try to make up for the failure of those old enough to know better to function appropriately.  They're "mother's little helper" on steroids and pay far more attention to others' needs than to their own.  They keep trying to make everyone happy.  When you meet them, try to pry them loose from the reunion and get them to do what  they'd like to do . . . if they can come up with something.

Also, look for a tag that says "Hello, I'm Lost."  That's their role and, as a consequence, they might not be at the reunion.  They may be working . . . even at tasks that bring them much success . . . or otherwise are "too busy" to attend.  Not having developed better ways of coping with it, they avoid altogether the family's coflict and tension.  When you do find them, admire their achievements . . . and then tell them you missed them.

Our Triangle-Busters Tee Shirt is sure to be a "hit!"  Just make sure that, when you wear it, others don't hit you! 

If your dysfunctional family has more "dys" than "fun" in it, it's likely that there are very few direct conversations.  Instead, members will triangulate.  Person A will talk to person C about a problem or concern they're having about person B rather than going to B directly. 

This almost always is a cause of misunderstanding, mischief, and mayhem depending on whether your family is more Cerebral, Marxist, or Irish . . . respectively (if not respectfully.)